Anger

It's been a while - and while part of the reason for not blogging is laziness, the other part, I'm sad to admit, is that I forgot how to get to my blog. I am a "newbie" when it comes to blogging! :-)

Right now, I want to vent - I'm aware that it may start to sound like whining but I will still call it venting.

I'm not normally an angry person - to have angry thoughts or use the word 'hate' is not normal for me. However, for the last year or so, I've hated one person more than others and I can't get past it. I think mainly it's because I do not understand how one person can thrive on the misery of others, refuse to believe that this person does not see how horrible they are to other people.

Let me start at the beginning. I work with Satan. I call her "the bull" because of the way she tramples over everyone and anyone in her path. There have been people who would've been unfortunate road kill if not for a last minute dodge to one side or the other. Like a bull in a china shop. Appropriate, right?

Most people try to survive in life by treating others as human beings, as they would like to be treated themselves. At least that is what I'd like to believe - naieve or not.

The Bull and I used to be friends - really good friends I thought - at work. We'd go to lunch, talk about upcoming projects we have, issues going on in our lives - - like normal friends. I have no idea what happened - - one day, friends - - next day, she snapped. Transformed into a bull of a person, throwing attitude around to everyone, ordering everyone around (myself included) when she has no role of authority to do so. I've talked to my boss about this, he's pulled me into a meeting with her and nothing has changed - - nothing. I've had repeated conversations with my boss about this - - nothing's changed. She's lost the company thousands of dollars. Nothing happens. None of the technicians want to call her because of her attitude. Nothing happens. I
feel I've tried talking to her unsuccessfully. I've tried forgiving the past and moving on to a new day for weeks on end. Nothing changed.

People I work with have speculated at her being a kiss-ass or perhaps doing "favors" of a less reputable nature in order to keep her job. I will admit to having entertained these ideas myself - I seem to stumble into various awkward scenes involving her and another technician. I just can't picture it - and if I can't picture it, then I don't think it's happening. She's married, has a young kid - - not that people in those situations don't have affairs. I just can't picture it because of a more shallow nature.

I don't understand how someone who interjects themselves into another person's job to let them know how it should be done, who yells at others infront of an entire office (she did this to the warranty coordinator!), who continually screws up jobs and money....can be seen as more of an asset than people who do their jobs well and actually make money for the company. It completely boggles my mind. How do people continue to get away with everything?

Don't get me wrong - we all make mistakes. The issue is when you don't learn from these mistakes, when you continue to overstep your boundaries with people, when you see yourself as more of an asset than a liability.
There are obviously a lot of details and examples and stories that I could tell but would not make sense unless you know the people involved or the surrounding situations I'm sure. I do hope that some of it makes sense tho.

I like my job - I enjoy what I do. I am thankful to have a job in this economy.

I wish the economy was better tho - I wish jobs were more plentiful - not just for myself, but for everyone. I wish people were not such assholes!!!
Currently, I wish my hiccups would stop....!

Ok - - I'm aware that a lot of this may not make sense - but I need to get it out there - to talk about it outside of my head. The voices in there all sound the same and no one offers a different opinion than mine!